Ready to Rejoice, Renew, Reflect?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 23, 2011 - 7:00 AM
As the holidays approach, are you approaching with sadness, despair, and disappointment over your last relationship?
If so, that’s okay. But it’s time for a reality check.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself this holiday season, take the time to rejoice, renew, and reflect.
Ask yourself these questions:
- How did this year go?
- Where do I want to go next year?
- What do I want to celebrate that I learned this year, even if it was painful to learn it?
- What do I want to let go of that no longer serves me?
- What do I want to accomplish in the new year that I need to change my behavior to do?
Spend some time this holiday season rejoicing, renewing and reflecting. As you do, you will see that you are not behind schedule with your life, you are actually right on time.
For more tips on how to celebrate being single and ready to mingle this holiday season and into 2011, enroll in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge for Singles.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
Single this holiday season? How to survive & celebrate!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 22, 2011 - 7:00 AM
With the holidays upon us, healing and moving on from a broken heart can be especially challenging.
You worry about being the only one minus a plus one at parties.
And sometimes you’re freaked out because you don’t want to answer all of those mind numbing and selfish questions:
Where’s whats his name?
What happened?
What went wrong THIS time?
Sound familiar? I get it. I’ve been there myself.
Healing your heart during the holidays can feel painful, hurtful, and like there’s something wrong with you.
Before you hide under the covers until New Year’s, give yourself permission to pick and choose the parties you go to.
Now, don’t become hermit — choose the parties where there will be people who love you, support you, and nurture you. Gravitate towards situations where your friends and loved ones can help you celebrate your single status.
While healing your heart during the holidays can be challenging, it’s not impossible. Stay focused, honor your progress and setbacks, and know that this, too, will pass.
For more tips on how to heal your broken heart and reclaim your single self this holiday season and into 2011, check out my breakup rx tips on my blog.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
Tis the Season to…Pamper Yourself!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 21, 2011 - 7:00 AM
With the holidays upon us, healing and moving on from a broken heart can be especially challenging.
You worry about being the only one minus a plus one at parties.
And sometimes you’re freaked out because you don’t want to answer all of those mind numbing and selfish questions:
Where’s whats his name?
What happened?
What went wrong THIS time?
Sound familiar? I get it. I’ve been there myself.
Healing your heart during the holidays can feel painful, hurtful, and like there’s something wrong with you.
Before you hide under the covers until New Year’s, give yourself permission to pick and choose the parties you go to.
Now, don’t become hermit — choose the parties where there will be people who love you, support you, and nurture you. Gravitate towards situations where your friends and loved ones can help you celebrate your single status.
While healing your heart during the holidays can be challenging, it’s not impossible. Stay focused, honor your progress and setbacks, and know that this, too, will pass.
For more tips on how to heal your broken heart and reclaim your single self this holiday season and into 2011, check out my breakup rx tips on my blog.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
When will you unleash your ROAR?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 20, 2011 - 7:00 AM
I’ve got a question for you. Are you playing it safe?
Are you living small, playing by the rules, and in general, tiptoeing through your life?
If so, how’s that working for you?
More importantly, how’s that NOT working for you?
How has playing by the rules kept you stuck, limited, and unsatisfied?
How have you squelched the authentic part of you that wants more, dreams bigger, and believes in possibility?
Maybe playing it safe has kept you in unsatisfying relationship after unsatisfying relationship.
Maybe living small has kept you from pursuing your dreams, taking a risk, and stepping outside your comfort zone, all necessary requirements for living your dream life.
I see it time after time. Women choosing to play it safe because they don’t know how to unleash their ROAR.
Women settling for less than they deserve in life and love because they’re too afraid to open their mouths and ROAR.
Are you one of them?
And if so, when will you unleash your ROAR?
What’s it going to take for you to step up to your Remarkable Openness to Awakening and Reinvention?
That’s really what I’m talking about. When you ROAR, you’re really…
- Awakening to what’s possible
- Opening up to making change and getting better results
- Summoning the inner strength to reinvent in the face of fear and uncertainty
If you ask me, the time is now. You’ve played it small long enough. And look what it’s gotten you…
- Mediocre relationships
- A so-so life
- Heartbreak after heartbreak
- The general feeling that you’re not living your best life
So again, I want to know…
What’s it going to take for you to unleash your ROAR?
As someone who has had her fair share of life’s ups and downs, faced reinvention time after time, and constantly challenges herself to ROAR, I want to help you.
I want to help you unleash your ROAR!
Sounds scary? It’s not. In fact, it’s freeing, fabulous, and fun! And it starts with a simple and profound baby step.
It starts with committing to your ROAR right this minute.
Again, I ask…
What’s it going to take for you to unleash your ROAR?
What’s it going to take for you to let go of the never ending cycle of:
- Mediocre relationships
- A so-so life
- Heartbreak after heartbreak
- The general feeling that you’re not living your best life
And instead embrace what’s possible including:
- Healing your heart and attracting the love of your life
- Living life on a grander scale, fully committed to your most authentic self
- Breaking free of all limiting beliefs and self sabotaging behaviors to live your dream life
This is such an exciting time for you.
I can’t wait for you to unleash your ROAR!
Post your ROAR experiences here.
Are Bad Love Habits Keeping You Single?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 19, 2011 - 7:00 AM
In the search for love, it’s easy to get sidetracked by bad dates, broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken hearts are part of the journey toward happily ever after, bad love habits are an unnecessary evil that you can easily break free of once you identify those silent saboteurs.
So what’s a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, dramatic belief you have about love, your general worthiness, and what’s possible for you on the dating scene. The following are some common bad love habits:
• Do you secretly fear that the guys you really want to date aren’t into you, while the guys you’re not into can’t get enough of you? (And if so, how’s that working in your dating life?)
• Do you choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs?
• Do you think love and relationships have to be difficult, disappointing, dramatic, and/or depressing?
• Are you convinced that your potential partner is going to fix whatever it is that you don’t like about yourself or your life so you don’t have to do anything right now but sit back and wait for him to show up?
• Are you terrified that time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children?
The good news is, you’re not alone. Millions of women, myself included, have at one time or another fallen prey to bad love habits and limiting relationship beliefs.
The even better news is that there IS a solution!
The following are just a few of the simple and effective tips and techniques that, when practiced over time, will help you kick any bad love habit – for good!
Identify any dating traps you suffer from
Think you’ve got to miraculously solve all your problems before you’ll be deserving of love? Convinced there are no good “ones” left? Or do you believe that a man will one day swoop in and magically save you from your life? If any or all of the above sound familiar, chances are good that you suffer from some common dating traps. In order to become a successful single, you first need to free yourself from these traps. Next, you’ve got to break free of any other limiting or destructive beliefs about love and relationships. To find out how, keep reading.
Assess your excess baggage
Next, it’s important to get honest with yourself about what you might be lugging around with you on dates. What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment, betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. If you’ve got negative or destructive beliefs or fears weighing you down, you owe it to yourself to dump that excess baggage!
Dump your excess baggage
In order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe you deserve one. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and tell them they’ve got to go. Thank them for the lessons you’ve learned and tell them that it’s now time for you to stand on your own 2 feet. In your mind’s eye, give them the heave ho!
Stop putting off your life and/or personal happiness
So many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result like “I’ll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I get a better job,” etc. The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously imperfect life right this very minute! When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until something external happens, today’s the day to start celebrating the joy in your everyday life.
Embrace a new dating vocabulary
Now that you’re baggage light and dating trap free, it’s time to introduce a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself “Love/dating/my ideal relationship is ____.” And then fill in the blank with the appropriate words. (Words like healthy, whole, loving, fun, etc.) By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes too, and as a result, you may start attracting happier and healthier potential partners. Love that!
For more on how to kick your bad love habits and welcome a better dating future, dive into Bad Love No More: How to kick limiting relationship beliefs to the curb and say yes to real and lasting love!
Are you scared to be single?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 18, 2011 - 7:00 AM
When it comes to being single, what scares you the most…
Standing on your own two feet?
Not having a date on Saturday night?
Never dating again?
Never meeting your perfect partner, falling in love, and experiencing your very own version of happily ever after?
All of the above?
The truth is, you ARE worthy of love, warts and all. Your happily ever after still exists. It’s just up to you to redefine it. In the meantime, it’s okay to be scared to be single. It may be new and unfamiliar territory, but guess what? As uncomfortable as it can sometimes feel, being single is also a gift and a blessing. And in time, you may just discover that you actually enjoy being single.
So how do you change how you feel about being single?
First, you admit that you still want to find love. That’s natural, normal, and biological.
Second, you surrender to NOT knowing when it will show up.
Then, you start creating a life YOU love, complete with taking full responsibility for your emotional well being, your financial fitness, and any other baggage that may be weighing you down.
And then you put yourself in target rich environments several times a week.
And celebrate fabulous YOU! In doing so, you’ll ease up on the self-imposed and societal pressure to couple up and instead live and love your life today.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Feeling lost when it comes to love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 17, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Now that you know the signs you’re hung up on What could have been, how to STOP feeling like a failure at love, and how to END your suffering for wasting too much time with Mr. Wrong, it’s time to get some serious clarity.
It’s time to stop feeling lost when it comes to finding Mr. Right.
Let’s get your internal compass working again!
First, let’s determine where you got lost in the first place.
If you spent most of your last relationship catering to your ex’s every need, don’t beat yourself up for being too accommodating. Celebrate the fact that you’ve got a lot of love to give. Moving forward, why not put all of that amazing love and attention on your own interests, your own needs, your own self nurturing? That way, you’ll never again get lost in a relationship, living solely for the purpose of helping your partner get everything they want and need, all the while feeling suffocated, isolated, and/or under-appreciated.
Truthfully, in a healthy and happy relationship, wants and needs are a two-way street. You take care of yourself AND your partner, and vice versa.
Starting right now, ask yourself what it would FEEL like to get your needs met.
Imagine how your life would improve if Mr. Right was there for you.
It’s possible. First, you have to connect to how healthy and happy love looks and feels. Define it. Meditate on it. Journal about it.
CONNECT to it regularly so you’ll be able to recognize it when it shows up in your life.
Then when it shows up and you recognize it, don’t run the other way. Celebrate the fact that you’re a powerful manifester.
And embrace the fact that you are not lost nor are you a loser at love. You are right on time for YOUR happily ever after.
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Love that! In the meantime, focus all that love and attention on Y-O-U.
Feel like you wasted years with Mr. Wrong?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 16, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Be honest…
When you look in the rearview mirror of your last relationship, do you:
A. Kick yourself for staying too long
B. Feel like you wasted weeks, months, years of your life that you’ll never get back
C. Worry that your ex still has time to get everything he wants, but it’s too late for you
D. All of the above
Whether you chose A., B., C., or D., the good news is that it’s never too late to be true to yourself.
Did you stay longer than you should have in the wrong relationship? Maybe. But you probably still had lessons to learn. Can you recoup those so-called wasted weeks, months, years? Not literally, but cosmically, yes.
How?
By learning your lessons, promising to never again repeat patterns and habits that no longer work for you, and by remaining consistently committed to your amazing future. If you commit to your successful future, you will never again waste time on the wrong guy.
First, you must commit to doing the following:
1. Make your list of relationship wants, needs, and requirements so you’re crystal clear about what you do and don’t want
2. Become a red flag specialist who never again ignores all the signs that Mr. Wrong is NOT The One
3. Trust that Mr. Right is out there for you and don’t get unnecessarily sidelined by men who don’t match his description
4. Create a life you love so that you’re not waiting around for some guy to rescue you
5. Let go of unhealthy baggage that’s stifling you and keeping Mr. Right away
Can you see how getting hung up on the time you may have wasted with Mr. Wrong only keeps you stuck? Give yourself permission to set yourself free and move on — for good!
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Do you feel like a failure at love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 15, 2011 - 7:00 AM
One of the biggest signs that you’re not yet ready to find Mr. Right is that you’re stuck in the trap of “What could have been.” Specifically, you’ve fallen into the nasty trap of believing your ex was The One, and without him, you’re doomed.
Sound familiar?
Here’s another common trap I see women fall into…
They feel like a bit, fat failure at love.
When you look back at past relationships and see that the only two common denominators are you and the fact that the relationship ended, it’s easy to fall into the false assumption that you must be a failure at love. And while it’s true that you participated in each and every one of those past relationships, it’s also true that there was something about each of those relationships that worked for you at the time. On some level (emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc.), you got something out of it. And you stayed because that need was being fulfilled.
The truth is, you are not a failure at love.
If you apply the lessons you’re learning from past relationships to your future, you’ll never again repeat those same issues, patterns, and mistakes. In fact, if you apply the Goldilocks principle to your next relationship, learning from what did and didn’t work in the past, you may even get it “just right” next time!
The key is to learn from the past, make the decision to stop repeating the same mistakes over and over in relationship after relationship, and choose better next time.
How can you learn from past relationship mistakes and STOP feeling like a failure at love?
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Signs you’re hung up on “What could have been”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 14, 2011 - 7:00 AM
Last week, I announced that I was going to start sharing valuable tips and tools so you could let go of Mr. Wrong and do what it takes to find Mr. Right.
To be honest, I see way too many beautiful, smart, successful women getting and staying hung up on a guy who’s not good for them. And while the occasional run in with Mr. Wrong is normal during a single gal’s journey, getting stuck in a bad relationship or in a never ending loop of loving one Mr. Wrong after another can lead to massive heartbreak, disappointment, loss, and serious financial and emotional debt.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
And I’ve worked with enough women who are starting over yet again after Mr. Wrong wronged them that I want to help you change your fate.
Over the next 3 weeks, I’ll share top 5 traps I see women get stuck in. I’ll also share how you can get un-stuck from these traps so you can find out what it takes to meet Mr. Right.
Even if you’re not quite ready to manifest Mr. Right, you can take at least 1 step today to let go of your love for Mr. Wrong and/or your addiction to bad love.
First, I need you to be honest.
Do you think your ex was The One?
Are you paralyzed by the fear that you don’t have what it takes to get love right?
Do you spend countless nights lying awake, obsessing about how much time you’ve wasted in relationship after relationship that just never worked out?
I get it. I’ve been there. And as someone who once got love wrong every time until she woke up, wised up, and discovered what it takes to find Mr. Right, I want to share with you how being hung up on “What could have been” is sabotaging your chances of finding love.
If you’re haunted by the disappointment you feel at what your future could have looked like but never quite materialized, STOP.
You’re not alone. I’ve been there. And so have so many other smart, successful, amazing women just like you.
As women, we’re biologically and socially wired to want certain things: a home, someone to love, possibly a family. When a relationship ends, it’s like a part of our soul dies. The disappointment in ourselves and our inability to make love work can stifle any hopes of letting go and moving on to a more hopeful future.
But guess what?
It’s time to turn down the volume on that pain and disappointment.
It’s time to accept that for whatever reason, things didn’t work out with Mr. Wrong. You did your very best. In fact, I know you did more than your share to ensure relationship success. You don’t have to know why the relationship ended in order to move on. But you do have to give yourself permission to stop looking over your shoulder, stop obsessing about “What could’ve been,” and instead reacquaint yourself with your present circumstances, freeing yourself up to walk step by step into that magnificent future.
Today, I invite you to ask yourself: How am I hung up on “What could have been?”
And then, give yourself permission to let go of your fantasies about the past and step into the reality that Mr. Wrong wasn’t The One. You are not a failure at love. There’s STILL time for you to get love right.
You just have to get un-stuck first.
Can you see how being stuck in the trap of “What could have been” is holding you back? If so, give yourself permission to set yourself free and move on.
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
